The girl from Ipanema

Hola Bloggers, Que tal?

Whoo hoo ! I am here. This is the first posting from South America.

I hope that you are all ok and that you have begun the new year in good spirits. I have not been in the best of health since arriving in Rio but I am certainly happy despite the sore throat and total exhaustion.

So, where exactly am I, who am I with and what am I doing? I am presently staying in copacabana beach, Rio de Janeiro, Brasil but I have just walked over to see a flat for rent in Ipanema which I'm going to take from tomorrow. Alex Bevan if you are reading this - thanks for the recommendation of Ipanema because it is just my sort of place. I got talking to a waiter last night in a restaurant and then ended up talking with the manager and owners (Italian) and got details of their cousins apartment to rent. Having now met the sister today and 'having seen how she just walks into the newspaper stand and picks up the man's phone and uses it and swans around with everyone seeming to know her - I suspect that the family are well connected around here (if you know what I mean). I figure some kind of mafioso family is more into making money than stealing it though so I am probably better with them than the other options here !

So who am I with (other than the Godfather) - when I landed at the airport I was greeted by Jose (my new man from Barcelona for those pof you who don't know). Knowing that I would be here he tageed along with some friends from Tarragona (Spain) who were coming to Brazil for new years .........and then he very sweetly extended his trip and and came down here to Rio alone to meet me for four days. He has gone back to BCN today but we have spent a really good few days together. I also have my best friend from school here with me - Jo. She is staying with my for my whole time in Brazil (6 weeks).

I think my Spanish has come on in leaps and bounds already - or so says Jose. Obviously I speak to him in Spanish so I have had four days of 24 *7 Spanish speaking. Also it seems to be totally acceptable to speak Spanish to the Brazilian - they understand but respond in Portuguese. At first I could not understand the responses (but Jose could) but now I am picking it up and even starting to speak a little. Most words are written the same but just pronounced very differently. You can just pick up the accent and get into it. For example - in Spanish an Orange is naranja and in Portugese it is laranja. Today I had a whole conversation with the Mafia chick - she was speaking Italian and I was speaking Spanish but we managed to get by and find out lots of details about the area and the apartment. Body language and actions help a lot and we both quite expressive people with our hands and eyes. All those years of Latin at school are coming in very handy as well! Its quite funny because my brain has just gone a bit mental and I keep speaking Spanish half way through a sentence to Jo without realising.

Jose says that I am starting to speak Spanish as quickly as I speak English now. I still have a very limited vocabulary and have dodgy grammar and tenses but the limited vocab that I have is now coming out very fast and without thought - i.e. I think I am starting to think in Spanish! Jose had his first dream in English - but unfortunately for him it only consisted of one word. He was asleep and then sat up and said "look!". "At what?" I asked - which woke him up. He then found it hilarious that he had spoken in English in his sleep and remembered that he was dreaming about speaking to me - but "look" had been the first word he had dreamt he had said to me. Oh well better luck next time (everyone learning a language always longs to dream in the other language - because then you know you have cracked it).

I must say that Rio is not really as amazing looking as I had imagined. I think its because you think that everything that you know (like the Christ statue and sugar loaf) are going to be visible at all times. But they are not - because its such a bloody massive place! Although Ipanema (where the new flat is) has a pretty impressive vista from the beach. There are just tens and tens of amazingly dramatic mountains sticking up all around you and dotted islands in the sea fairly close to the beach that you are on. Maybe when it gets less cloudy it will all luck better.

So far, Rio is not as scary as I expected. The most frightening time so far was when all three of us (me, Jo and Jose) were following a nature trail down from Sugar Loaf mountain and Jose and I heard a monkey going mad in a tree really close to us. Jo had gone ahead. It sounded like it was really freaking out and was liable to jump on the head of the next passer by .....and it sounded really close! I was really really scared but instead of clinging to Jose like a complete wet and shaking, I suggested to Jose that if we stomped forward really quickly then maybe we would scare it off. So, that's what we did. We turned the corner of the trail and found Jo absolutely pissing herself hiding in a tree. She had been making the monkey sound by blowing on a blade of grass - a trick she had been taught! It was amazing how accurate the sound was. We all laughed for hours about that one. For those of you who have ever met Jo - this is just typical of her. She is indeed a cheeky monkey!

It isn't that scary but we have been mugged already! However the poor junky mugger was unsuccessful this time. We had been hanging out on copacabana beach one late afternoon and then Jo and Jose fell asleep (due to all the cartwheels and Arab springs that Jo and I had been showing off with, and the couple of very Spanish footballer looking hands free forward flips that Jose attempted!). I was laying down but looking out to sea. There were not many people around as the weather wasn't great but there was (as usual here) loads of serious football games going on along the beach. Suddenly I heard some shouting and turned around to see a junky tramp trying to put my Nike's on and pocketing Jose's Spanish ID card. The shouting was one of the football coaches running across yelling at the junky to stop. I jumped up and shouted at him in Spanish too so he dropped the Nikes and the ID card , swore at me and leisurely saunted off. He probably thought that he was running away but I don't think his mind quite knew where his body was and so a saunter was all that he could manage (no need for the Nike's then if you ask me!)

We were all quite glad that the attempted mugging happened so early in the trip because it taught us that you seriously can't even close your eyes on the beach for one second. It also taught us that even your shoes are attractive to people here.

Tourist sightseeing wise I have so far gone up the mountain with the Christ statue at the top and been up Sugar loaf mountain. Both have amazing views of the surrounding landscape (which is very unique). I prefer the view from El Christo. The weather has been about 33 degrees in the day but with lots of clouds and a few spots of rain. Its about 26 degrees through the night. Its quite humid as well. Those of you know my sunbathing antics might be surprised to know that I haven't sunbathed yet. not for one minute. Mainly because I have been going around and doing stuff with Jose before he left.........but also because its too cloudy for me. Tranquilla! I have six months!

Somethings are ridiculous cheap (cocktails for less than one pound that have about three measures in are quite handy to find) but some things are not much different to Europe. Generally cheap though.

I must also report back that I have spoken to some of the most stupid people that I have ever encountered outside of a registered institution. I am not saying that as a race there are inherently dumb, I have met people who seem to have all of there faculties, but seriously, there have been some fantastically funny exchanges. Jose and I have just been in stitches at some of them. You can just tell by some faces as well - always smiling - you know that kind of retarded look. Nothing worries them as they don't know what the hell is going on. There seems to be less of these poor types in Ipanema though.

The people here love sport. Everywhere you look there are people running along, walking, jogging, playing football. There are gyms on the beach and special lanes for runners on the front coastal roads. As a consequence there are some amazing bodies! A lot of the men have more muscles than they know what to do with .............and as the fashion here seems to be to just walk down to the beach in your speedoes (or maybe just your tiny underpants if you are over 50!) then you can't exactly miss these sights. Jo and I are finding it very difficult not to crack up laughing at some of them. It also seems to be perfectly polite to absolutely stare at people. Everyone does it, men, women and children. So, we are learning to star back and not be afraid (as we Brits are often afraid to do).

We had a good old drink last night as it was Jose's last night. We made friends with an American (called Sarah) who is here alone to learn the language. she is only 21. I think Jo frightened the life out of her with some of her stories (for the what no hen girls reading this - she was discussing what a shame it was that the Rabbit had been left at home! Jose was in absolute stitches and the 21 year old was bright red). We also made friends with a crazy barmaid. She and Jo were battling it out in the crazy stakes. I'd say Jo won though (as usual).

I've sent Jose back to Spain with loads of my clothes because my rucksack was just ridiculously full. Its still too full but it will just have to do for now. Maybe I will give Jo more stuff in six weeks time when she goes. There is already a rip in it, for which I am on the hunt for gaffer tape. Its sod's law because gaffer tape was one of the things on my list of things to buy before leaving London which never got ticked off. There are more such things - and you just know that these will be all the things that I need and that I won't need then random things that I have got (Long legs you were right to piss yourself at me having a universal sink plug with me - I doubt I will need that).

I spent a night in what seemed to be the local prostitutes restaurant. I really needed to eat soup as I had a really sore throat (and still do). So Jose and I went in to the first place that we found with a good selection of soups on the menu on the wall. I went straight to the toilet before sitting down and when I returned to the table Jose said that he suspected that he was surrounded by ladies of the nights. As we took a closer look - this was confirmed. There were about 30 of them swooping in on the other tables that were all filled with single or groups of men. Oh well - they had a good selection of soup so we stayed and watched them in action. They were quite polite when I bumped into a crowd of them during a later visit to the toilets.

I haven't worked out yet how to get photos on here. I think its possible though so one day I will get round to it.

Right that's me done for tonight.

Lots of love to you all. Get that heating turned up suckers. Oh, and don't be late for work tomorrow will you (hee hee hee)